Redefining Fun

Contrary to what anyone who knew me in high school might believe, I really like to have fun (for background, in high school I did nothing but study and play sports; my dad used to pay me to go to the movies because I'm pretty sure he was afraid I'd turn into an antisocial weirdo who lived with my parents for the rest of my life). I started to lighten up a little bit in college, but after finishing school, I learned to love life a lot more. I love running with friends, camping, hiking, playing ultimate frisbee, meeting people for scones at Starbucks, being part of book clubs, game nights (Settlers of Catan anyone?!), and hanging out with friends. Unfortunately, having 3 kids under age 3 doesn't leave me many opportunities to do any of the things I love.

Aaron and I have been talking a lot about what "fun" looks like for us now. Doing the things we love with our kids doesn't exactly sound fun: Camping with toddlers and a baby? Um, no. Game nights? Not unless people come to our house, and we're getting old enough that all of our friends have kids too, so bedtime kind of screws things up. Running with friends? I decided not to purchase a triple stroller, and let's be honest, as slow as I would run being out of shape and pushing 3 kids, no one would want to run with me anyway. Book clubs? That would mean I'd have to have time to actually read a book. So what does fun look like for us now?

Fun has become finding diggers and mixers and dump trucks on walks or drives around town. Fun is going to the park and playing with the kids on the merry-go-round and slides. Fun is singing and dancing to the Zac Brown Band CD that Malachi has memorized. Fun is pretending that Thomas the Train is hiding behind our couch and we have to find him. Fun is playing baseball in the backyard with Malachi while trying to keep Isaiah from falling off the jungle gym that he climbs on his own.

And while this may not always seem like real fun to us, we have to admit that it's fun to watch our kids having fun. I laugh a lot, especially when the kids aren't driving me crazy. And I keep telling myself that in a few years, the fun we used to have might be fun again. Camping when the kids are a few years older will be a blast. With 3 boys, ultimate frisbee and every other sport will be awesome (and probably super competitive). The kids can ride their bikes with me while I go for a run. And we can have family game nights and won't even have to have friends to invite over. So while we're redefining fun right now, by giving time to our kids while they're young, it's going to pay off big time when the real fun starts. At least, that's what we keep telling ourselves ...

Having kids has taught me a lot about what unselfishness means. I'm learning how selfish and self-centered I really am. When I'm getting angry at Malachi for taking his brother's toys and not sharing with his friends, I hear myself muttering, "You are so selfish! It's annoying!" But you know, this selfishness is exactly what I struggle with every day. Putting others first isn't easy, for a toddler or an adult. But sacrifice, as Christ showed us, is exactly what love is all about. And love as a mom means redefining fun, at least for now.