"Wisdom" from a Mom of 3 Boys

I realized the other day that my oldest son is going to turn 4 in about two months. What?! How can that be?! So I decided to write a blog and pass along some of the things I've learned after 4 years of parenting (and having 3 boys in 2.5 years).

1. White kids' bruises are much more noticeable than black and biracial kids. Either that or your ability to protect your children declines significantly with each passing kid.


2. Kids can fight over anything. Like an imaginary football. My kids run screaming like mad men through the house chasing each other trying to take the imaginary football back from each other. And it always ends in crying because someone either A) gets the football "taken away" from them or B) gets the crap beat out of them while they're wrestling on the floor over said imaginary football. Really?!


3. You lighten up as a parent a lot between Kid 1 and Kid 3. Let me give you a few instances:

3a. Kid 1 pees in the bathtub -- you scream, quickly remove kid from the tub, empty the water, clean the tub with lysol, and then restart the bath. Kid 2 pees in the tub -- you frown and tell him that we do not pee in the tub and sternly warn everyone not to drink the tub water. Kid 3 pees in the tub -- you clap and cheer and say "Good job!" because you haven't wasted a diaper. You don't even notice if someone is drinking the bathwater.

3b. Kid 1 falls and gets a bloody lip -- you cry, hold the crying baby, get a "boo boo bunny" with ice to put on his lip and think of what a terrible mother you are. Kid 2 gets a bloody lip -- you blame kid 1, because you're sure it's his fault; kid 2 doesn't even cry; you give him a dirty dishrag with cold water to clean it up. Kid 3 gets a bloody lip -- you only realize there's a bloody lip because you see the blood stain on the couch/shirt/carpet; you wipe the blood off with his already bloodstained shirt; you admire the fat lip he's currently sporting and think of how well it goes with the other bruises on his face that make him look like Rocky.

3c. Kid 1 has a fever -- you immediately give him Tylenol, call the doctor and take him in, just in case he's dying of pneumonia. Kid 2 has a fever -- you give him some Tylenol if it's over 100, but wait to call the doctor for about 3 days. Kid 3 has a fever -- actually, you don't know he has a fever because you never take his temperature, but if he feels hot or wakes up in the middle of the night for at least 5 nights in a row, you consider calling the doctor to see if they could order him a prescription over the phone.


4. Holidays become less exciting. You used to get excited about putting up the Christmas tree and letting your kids help you put the first ornaments on the tree. By the third kid all you can think of is how to keep them from pulling all the ornaments off the tree, and whether or not it's really necessary to even put a Christmas tree up at all.


5. You videotaped and then wrote down your child's first words and still remember what they are. By the third kid you don't even realize he's started saying words until he's already moved on to 3-word sentences.


6. Date night was dinner out, maybe followed by a movie or at least something fun. By kid three, you don't remember what date night is, and on special occasions like anniversaries or Valentine's, you send your husband to Dairy Queen and split a large blizzard while watching the Cardinals on TV.


7. You learn that eating vegetables is not necessary for survival, either yours or your children's. And anything with tomato sauce (i.e. frozen pizza) counts as a vegetable.


8. It doesn't make you a terrible parent to be secretly happy that Kid 2 is beating up Kid 1, because dog gone it, sometimes he deserves it!


9. Going anywhere, even your yearly OB-GYN appointment, without your kids feels like you just hit the jackpot.


10. You realize that you will never, ever be a perfect parent, and your kids will never, ever be perfect kids, but you trust God and learn to laugh at yourself (and them). Because if you didn't laugh, you would most definitely have to cry.


Okay, that's all the wisdom I've got for you for now. Feel free to comment with your own words of parenting wisdom.