I love Christmas. It has always been my favorite holiday and favorite time of the year since I was a kid. I love the Christmas carols, the Christmas Eve candlelight services, the food (hello, peppermint bark and chocolate covered pretzels), the get togethers with family, the presents, the card games and ping-pong games, the snow (at least, sometimes the snow) ... Christmas makes me happy. It reminds me that Jesus came to earth as a baby so that I can have a relationship with God and be adopted as God's child. And I'm a big fan of adoption.
However, this Christmas was, um, less than enjoyable (to put it mildly). And I'm realizing that Christmas isn't quite as fun as it used to be now that I have 3 small children. My kids were wired, insane, off the chain -- however you want to put it. Too much food, too much sugar, too many presents, too many people. I thought I was going to go insane. Nothing makes me more mad than a kid who is ungrateful for what he has received and whining and throwing a tantrum because he wants what his brother got. And a Christmas Eve candlelight service is hardly a good time when you've got two boys using the candles as drumsticks (and breaking them), trying to escape the pew (we were literally grabbing them by their pants and pulling them back in the pew), and throwing a loud fit during "O Holy Night" (my favorite Christmas song) because the water in their cups was gone. And did I mention two of the boys screamed the entire hour from my parents' house to my husband's family's house, and the other one wailed all the way home? Seriously?!
While we were trying to talk over the screaming in the car, my husband tells me, "I think we're THAT family." You know, the family that brings their 12 bratty kids (yes, we only have 3, but it feels like 12) and everyone cringes when they see them because they know the kids are going to be a hot mess that ruins every family get together. Usually, THAT family is the one whose parents think their kids are perfect and never discipline them and let them get away with murder. That's not us. We most definitely do not believe our kids are perfect, and we really do try to discipline them (I'm not sure how many time-outs M got on Christmas day). But our kids are still insane. I don't know if it's the age, or the fact that there are 3 of them so close together, or because they are "all boy" as people like to tell me, but it's pure craziness. And I feel bad. I worry that people are judging me. I feel like people probably hate my kids. I've had numerous people ask me things like, "Do you know if their birthmoms were on drugs when they were pregnant" (they were not) or "Have you heard of the bad side effects of artificial dyes on kids' behavior?" (I have, and I don't give my kids food with dyes in it). I know they're trying to be well-meaning and help a sister out, but it's a little discouraging that my kids are crazy enough to make people think they have something wrong with them.
But then I look around at other friends who have boys the same age as my boys, and I'm reminded that, for the most part, my kids are normal. They may be a little more energetic than some, but hey -- that can be a good thing if they want to play sports or be in a band, right? And I was reminded that my kids aren't born naturally good -- they require training and discipline to help them learn right behavior from wrong behavior, and for goodness sake, they're only 1 1/2 and 3 years old, so maybe I should cut them a little slack.
And there were moments of pure joy this Christmas -- when Kid 2 shared all of his toys with Kid 1, then Kid 3 slept through the night and so did I, when Kid 1 got excited to see "Baby Jesus" at the Christmas Eve service and started yelling, "I do like Baby Jesus! I do!" Christmas may not be the easy, fun times I remember for a few more years, but it's still a time to celebrate. It's still a chance to see family and eat food and rejoice in the birth of our Savior. And maybe in a few years Christmas will be fun again. Until then, we'll just smile at everyone, knowing that they're secretly thinking, "Oh no, not THAT family."
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