1 Week Down ...

Elias is a week old today! And today was the first day since he arrived that things almost felt "normal." And by "normal" I mean, I didn't want to strangle my oldest two boys or myself. That's a good day! So I thought that in between feeding Elias, I would share a few of the lessons I've learned in the first week:

1. A week after giving birth, I still don't understand why people use words like "amazing" and "wonderful" to describe their birth experience. The only words I think of are 4-letter words that shouldn't be written in a family friendly blog. Everyone keeps saying that if I give it time, I'll feel differently. Nope, I'm pretty sure I won't. Labor sucks. I never want to do it again. Period. Don't try to change my mind. And no, I don't feel like my life is now complete since I got to experience the birth of my third son. I would have been perfectly fine without that.

2. I don't feel any differently about Elias than I did the other two boys. I've had people ask me if it's different -- do I feel more attached or something like that. Nope. I adore him, just like I adored the other boys, but it's not really any different. In fact, Malachi was probably the easiest one for me to attach to, because I could give him all of my attention. Isaiah was probably the hardest, because he was in the hospital for so long and then when I finally brought him home, it was the day before Aaron returned from deployment, and then Isaiah was the hardest baby known to mankind, so ... I was actually worried that I wouldn't feel that close to Elias (being #3 with 2 older brothers vying for my attention, it didn't look promising), but as Aaron pointed out, I should probably be grateful that I had a c-section. It gives me 4 weeks where the only child I can really "parent" is my new baby (as both of the other boys are over my 10 pound weight limit). I hate not being able to pick up Isaiah and hold him or chase Malachi around or play like I did before, but it is a perfect opportunity for me to sit and hold Elias and stare at him and focus on him for a month without feeling guilty about it (or at least knowing that feeling guilty is just going to have to happen, because I have to follow doctor's orders).

3. Breastfeeding is actually not that bad. It was the thing I dreaded most about having a biological child, and I'm still not nearly as comfortable with breastfeeding as bottle feeding (too much worry about is Elias getting enough, is my milk "letting down" whatever the heck that means, will my boobs ever stop hurting, will they ever return to a normal size, etc.), but it's actually kind of cool to feed another human being. And it's a great excuse to eat more food. And while it made my stomach hurt pretty bad when the uterus that had been cut open started contracting, it is making it shrink (I think). And it has definitely helped with bonding. Aaron likes it too -- no reason for him to get up in the night for night feedings when he can't do a darn thing about it (though I have heard that you can milk anything with nipples ...).

4. 2-year olds and 1-yeard olds do not understand the pain you are in when you have a c-section. If my mom weren't here, I would die. Literally die, probably of my stomach exploding when one of the kids jumped on it. Have I mentioned that my mom is awesome? Because she is. I'm pretty sure she and Aaron have it way harder than I do right now, trying to take care of 2 toddlers. At least all I have is a tiny infant. But you can all feel sorry for me when I finally heal up and then I have 3 boys under 3 to take care of by myself. I expect a lot of pity and sympathetic looks then.

5. Getting sleep with a newborn is a whole lot harder with 2 other boys. I can't just take naps during the day when I want to, and the older two wake up before the infant does in the morning. 3 kids is exhausting. I'm tired. So if this blog is in no way coherent, cut me some slack.


P.S. I decided to change the name of the blog to reflect the fact that our story is about more than adoption -- it's about raising our three sons. I plan to continue blogging on adoption issues, but I will also post stuff on what it's like to be a mom of 3 boys who are less than 3 years apart. It could get interesting ...