The Big Fear: Hair and Skin Care

Let me start with a disclaimer: I am white (shocker, I know). Everything I know about AA hair and skin care I have only learned in the last 6 months from talking to other people and trying different things. Let me also state that I am a bit of a "granola mom", so that could affect my viewpoint. And I need to give credit to Kate Hermanson, who I call and email with all kinds of questions and who graciously gives me tips, hints, websites, and products. And to all my AA friends out there (or any of you white folk who have some experience), please feel free to "educate" me with any other tips and ideas.

Okay, I have found that whenever considering adopting an AA child, one of the biggest worries of prospective white families is what the heck to do with their hair and skin. This was one of my biggest concerns as well. I mean, I can't even do my own hair, let alone someone's hair who is completely different. I did not want my son to be out and everyone looking at him thinking, "Yep, his mom doesn't have a clue." So I did my research and asked questions, and found out that really, it's not that big of a deal.

The biggest thing for both hair and skin is MOISTURIZE! It's all about getting enough moisture so their skin isn't ashy and their hair isn't dry and brittle. That's it. No big secrets or surprises - just moisturize! But you have to be careful on how you do that. I try to make sure that there are no mineral oils in any of the products I use, or petroleum either (as these can just mask problems, giving them surface moisture but not actually moisturizing the skin or hair). I do not (and would definitely not recommend) use Johnson and Johnson products. They are not good for the hair, and the lotions have mineral oil in them. So, what do I use? Here's the rundown of things I've tried or plan on trying:

Shea Butter - PURE shea butter. You can buy it online and it's amazing. You have to really massaged it into the skin and the smell can be a little weird at first, but it goes away and is amazing. (Supposedly, this is what is used in Africa). We LOVE it.

Soaps: Malachi has eczema, so I have to use a special product that is non-sudsy and won't cause it to be worse. However, you really don't need to use soap that often, esp. when they're young. A lot of times if I'm not using his eczema soap, I just rub him down with some oil (Proclaim products are great - also use for his hair). I know my friend Kate used to use Aubrey Organics skin care products.

Miss Jessie's Creme de la Curl and Miss Jessie's Creme de la Creme. I just bought these and absolutely love them already for Malachi's hair. It keeps his hair soft and curly. They also have something called Baby Buttercream and Curly Pudding, both of which can be used for styling (I plan to buy these soon and give it a shot).

Carol's Daughter's - they have Hair Milk that I've heard is fantastic. Haven't tried it yet, but it's supposed to be good.

These are just a few of the things I've tried. You could even just use things like olive oil on their skin and hair (they might smell like an Italian restaurant, but it would work). I try to use products that won't strip his skin and hair of their natural oils and that will be relatively good for the environment as well. And I would not recommend bathing every night. I know that is often one of the suggested "bedtime" routines, but frankly, a baby doesn't need a bath every night, and it can just strip their skin and hair of the natural moisture they have. I only bathe Malachi about twice a week, and I always pour some oil in the water.

I hope this helps alleviate some of the fears a little. I would love suggestions if any of you have them! Oh - and I don't have a girl, but I know there are some things you have to learn about braiding, puffs, etc. that I won't have to worry about with Malachi. : ) But I would recommend getting a pick or large toothed comb (those little ones they give you in the hospital really don't work after the first month).

Again, this info is just from my own personal experience. There is a lot of information out there if you do your research, and there are tons of products available. So have fun with it - it's kind of cool to learn about and try new things.