For the second week in a row, I will start the blog with a disclaimer: I do not know everything (it's true), nor do I think that everything I have read or discovered is useful. However, I know a lot of people are interested in adoption but aren't sure where to start. So I'm going to try to break this blog down into a few different types of resources: adoption books, kids books about adoption, parenting resources, and anything else I can think of (websites, organizations, etc.). If you know of any good resources you have read or used, please comment! We did not do a whole lot of reading about adoption before we got Malachi because it all happened so fast (and haven't really had time to read much afterward), so I do not have a whole lot of resources. But hopefully the few that I do know of will get people started. So here goes.
Adoption Books
Adopted for Life by Russell D. Moore : This book is awesome! Everyone should read it (regardless of whether or not you plan to adopt). It talks about how adoption is such an amazing picture of the Gospel, and how the church should be at the forefront of adoption both here and around the world. We loved this book.
I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla: Raising Healthy Black and Biracial Children in a Race-Conscious World by Marguerite Wright : This book has some great information about race issues (or our fears about race issues which may or may not be true). This one helped calm some of our fears about adopting trans-racially and answered a lot of questions we had about issues that Malachi might face.
Kid's Books about Adoption
Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis : This book is one of my favorites. It's funny, well-illustrated, and so true! It's one of those books that makes you cry and laugh at the same time. Quite possibly the best children's book about adoption out there.
God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren : This is an awesome book telling kids the adoption story and God's role in it. Definitely recommend it.
Parenting Books (I read a few books, and didn't adhere strictly to any of them ... I kind of took a moderate approach to all of the books I read and tried to use the good points from them and ignored the rest.)
The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp, M.D. : Great book about how to get through the first 3 months, how to calm a crying baby (the 5 S's - Swaddling, Side/Stomach, Shhh, Swinging, Sucking), and how to help your baby sleep longer. Good stuff.
On Becoming Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam : This book is controversial, but useful. I am not a very good "baby wise" parent, as I am way too on the go to adhere strictly to a schedule and amazingly (my high school friends will not believe this) am a little too chill to be rigid about scheduling. But this book has great ideas for how to help your baby get on a schedule and sleep through the night. I love their eat, play, sleep method (rather than feeding your baby to sleep). I did not let Malachi "cry it out" until about 5 months, b/c the poor kid was hungry, but he pretty much learned to sleep through the night on his own anyway, just not at 10 weeks like the authors claim they can do. And Malachi can (and does) sleep anywhere. I am not rigid - if I want to go explore some place, I pack him up and take him along. Poor kid - I've been in line to get food and realized he has nodded off. And I've definitely forgotten to feed him while I was exploring the great outdoors and 2 hours later couldn't figure out why he was cranky. All this to say, it's a great book, but if it doesn't fit your lifestyle or personality, pick and choose what works for you and leave the rest. I did, and Malachi still sleeps 8+ hours at night and is a happy, content kid.
The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley : This has some great ideas for how to help your baby sleep through the night if you're not into the whole cry-it-out method. There are tons of suggestions on setting up a routine, and it has some good, useful information.
Other Resources
Bethany Christian Services : This was our adoption agency, and we love them! They do both domestic and international adoptions, and are nationwide (which is great for being in the military, since who knows where our next adoption process will occur). We highly recommend this agency!
ABBA Fund - Google it. I don't know a lot about it, but I know they have some resources about adoptions and the funding of adoptions (which will probably be a topic in a post very soon).
Baby Bargains by Denise and Aland Fields : This was my Bible when I went to register. It has reviews on anything and everything baby, and breaks the categories down by price. This was a great book to help me figure out which mattress, crib, carseat, highchair, etc. that I wanted. Definitely use it before you register, or you'll end up like me, deleting a ton of stuff from your registry and going back to put the correct things on.
365 Things Every New Mom Should Know by Linda Danis : This book has great practical ideas of things to do with your baby each day, following them developmentally. It also has a weekly devotional. Some of the ideas include songs, things to do for playing, how to get organized, how to get back in shape, etc. A friend gave this to me, and I've really enjoyed it.
Okay, so that's all I've got for now. As I said before, I'm not super well-read on adoption or parenting, and I know there are a TON of good resources out there. These are just the ones I've had experience with and liked. The children's books and the book Adopted for Life are the ones I can most confidently recommend. Hopefully this can at least be a starting point ... and usually, if you contact an adoption agency, they will have tons of resources and suggestions for you as well. And don't forget Google - it has become my best friend.
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