Aaron's Thoughts on Adoption

When we considered adoption it was much more than a means by which to get a baby. We quickly realized the responsibility and privilege that we are given as Christians to care for the “widows and orphans” in our community. When we think of how God loved us so much that he chose to adopt us into his family upon no merit of our own, adoption became our way of expressing that love back to God, to a child, and to a young woman who suddenly became a mother. In the Bible, James says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”

It was much harder for me to put on hold the desire to see my genes passed on to the next generation than it was for Audrey. It is a natural desire to see a little bit of yourself in your child. Every guy deep down wants to see his child excel where he fell short whether it be in sports, school, or his occupation. This affirms our idea that we could have done better if only our weight class had not be so tough at wrestling sectionals or if the quarterback on our football team would have thrown the pass a little better. It took some time for me to wrap my head around loving a child that not only has no genetic tie to me but isn’t even the same color as I am. However, my fears of not being able to “bond” with him were soon completely forgotten.

When we went to the hospital it was a very odd mix of excitement and sadness. Though I was as excited as any parent could be to see their new baby, I kept thinking about the heartache that Ashley (birthmother) and her family were experiencing as well as the potential hurt that Malachi may go through. The questions why did my mom want to give me up? Did she not love me started going through my mind. As I watched Ashley, the answer became easy. Malachi’s birthmother demonstrated the most incredible act of love that any women could. While at the hospital we were torn between our desire to enjoy our new baby and giving Ashley the opportunity to enjoy the little time that she would have with him.

Adoption many times is seen as plan B. People adopt because they can’t have a “real” baby. Malachi is a greater blessing to us than any biological child could ever be. Though we have no genetic reason to love him, we could not imagine giving him up. We thank God that we have the resources and the opportunity to raise such a special boy and look forward to many more.