Public Reaction

I've had all kinds of comments and questions about Malachi, but today topped them all. As I walked into the local grocery store, I had decided to use the baby carrier instead of keeping Malachi in his carseat, and he was wide awake and looking around. Everyone in the store stopped to stare at us, and then smile. As I walked through the produce aisle, an older African American man stopped to talk to me and ooh and ah at Malachi. Another shopper stopped me in the baking aisle to ask if I could really bake (he was an older AA man too), and ever other shopper I saw (white or black) stopped to take a peak and make a comment about how cute Malachi was. I smiled and said thanks and continued shopping.

Then I got to the checkout line. It was a younger white girl who said, "We've all been discussing this, so tell us - is he yours?" Normally I like being the center of attention, but do I really need the whole store talking about us? It felt kind of weird. I explained that Malachi was adopted, and the girl said they had decided I was either his nanny or he was adopted. Smart girl. Then another worker came over to also check me out (I guess now it takes 2 people to scan groceries?). They started asking all kinds of questions: where is he from? Do I know his "parents" (actually yes, I do spend a lot of time with myself)? Why did his mom give him up? How long did it take? Why did I adopt? Could I not have kids? (Seriously, when does a stranger ask questions about fertility?!) Thankfully, it takes a lot to offend me, and I found this exchange rather amusing, but I wasn't quite prepared for how free people feel to ask very personal questions. People are intrigued by adoption, and I'm not really sure why. They also seem to think it's just awful that we have a relationship with Malachi's birthmother. I try to explain to everyone that she is an amazing woman, and we adore her and hope she is always a part of our life. It takes one heck of a sacrifice and a lot of maturity and selflessness to give your child up for adoption so that he can have a better life. But people don't understand this. I have decided I need to make it my mission to educate people about adoptions. Besides, I'm pretty open about it and don't mind the personal, probing questions, but I know that others do. So, for those of you who are curious, feel free to ask me, but I wouldn't go around asking every mom or dad who has adopted whether or not they have dealt with infertility problems. It might tick them off.